you’re doing great

When we're facing something hard, we all need a little help. Understanding helps. Appreciation helps. Kindness from someone else can make the effort feel lighter, or more meaningful — sometimes both.

Early in recovery, my sponsor said it to me constantly: "You're doing great." Part of me thought, lady, are you nuts? Nothing felt great. Nothing looked great. Nothing was great. But another part of me held on to those three words like a hope I wasn't ready to admit to: please let her be right.

"You're doing great" became a kind of mantra. I started saying it to myself — especially on the anxious, overwhelmed days, and there were a lot of those. I remember the first time I actually believed it: nothing dramatic had happened, I'd just made it through an ordinary hard day, and the words landed differently than usual. Somewhere between the hundredth and thousandth time, I'd started to see it too.

That little phrase says so much. I know it's painful. I see how hard you're working. I see you changing. It's the same thing we try to put into every piece we make — a way to hand someone proof that their work is seen, not just say it and hope it sticks.

Next time you see someone doing the work — tell her. You're doing great.